Today it has been
24 years, since
you left this earth
and those you love
behind.
The anniversary hits
me hard,
realizing it’s been so
long and you have
missed so much.
There are always the
questions.
What would it have been
like if you had stayed?
Would those added years
just bring more pain,
pain for you,
and pain for us as
your children.
or would you have
conquered addiction
if given more time?
Were you afraid,
did you feel alone
when you left?
Were you angry at us
for being so troubled
by your troubling condition?
But today I will think
positive thoughts.
Thoughts that you were
sad to leave us.
That your parental love
is all accepting and comforting.
I miss the you
that was smart and funny,
that loved gardening, cooking and
puttering around the house.
The “hefty” handsome Silva thins man who
lived and loved and lost.
How much I wish you had
won that battle and been
here with us to see all the
wonderful times.
It was the end of hope-
24 years ago today.
Hope that you would win,
so I hope instead that you
are free, wherever that
may be.
A hawk soaring through
the sky.
Free from all that
bound you to this earth
and that sometimes that
brush of wind may be
you reminding me of how
much I am loved.
And I will remind you how
much you are missed.
24 years later.

Love, Julie